The Brightest Hidden in Darkness
by nymph62442
Summary: Third year, Hermione has a very hard time. She falls in to darkness. Will no one show her the light?
1. Oh beautiful release

A/N: this story takes place during 3rd an 4th year. i thought i would be a cool idea to create a story that went along with the books. So im gonna be useing some of the dialog from the books. hope u guys enjoy.

Disclaimer: It all belongs to the wonderful Jo Rowling.

Something not quite right about her, this girl, this third year of fourteen. Her friends are beginning to notice but unfortunately they are on the quite side with her at the moment. They haven't actually seen her too much lately as it is. She appeared to be avoiding the common room. Hermione's best friends figured she was hiding in the library. Not even once did they try to persuade her to come back. They don't talk to her as much for a reason, and a selfish reason at that. A stupid fight that's all it is. First over a possibly bewitched broom and then latter over a dead mouse.

FLASH BACK

"Still looks ill doesn't he?" Said Ron as they walked down the corridor, heading to dinner. "What d'you reckon's the matter with him?"

There was a loud and impatient "tuh" from behind them. It was Hermione, who had been sitting at the feet of a suit of armor, repacking her bag, which was so full of books it wouldn't close.

"And what are you tutting at us for?" said Ron irritably.

"Nothing," said Hermione in a lofty voice, heaving her bag back over her shoulder.

"Yes, you were," said Ron "I said I wonder what's wrong with Lupin, and you---"

"Well, isn't it _obvious_?" said Hermione, with a look of maddening superiority.

"If you don't want to tell us, don't," snapped Ron.

"Fine," said Hermione haughtily, and she marched off.

"She doesn't know," said Ron, staring resentfully after Hermione. "She's just trying to get us to talk to her again."

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Hermione continued her solitary march away from her once best friends_. Funny_, she thought , _Ron always knows the exact think to say to up set me, weather its to my face or when he thinks I'm out of ear shot_. She had heard his last comment. _What reason do i have to lie to them. Why does Ron have to be so rude? Why does Harry alwaya have to side with Ron?_ Hermione found her eyes welling up with tears as she made her way to the girls bathroom on the second floor. The bathroom that only last year her, Ron, and Harry had brewed a pollyjuice potion (which had disastrous consequences for Hermione for the mere fact that she had new cat-like features for a short time after drinking the potion). It also was the same bathroom which was home to a very depressed ghost girl by the name of Myrtle. She had died in the castle over fifty years ago.

Hermione pushed open the heavy wooden door. The lavatory was a gloomy and depressing bathroom with a large, cracked, and spotted mirror over chipped sinks and flaked, scratched wooden doors to the stalls. This place suited her reason for coming here very much. Myrtle was no where in sight. Hermione was glad of that. Hermione dropped her heavy, now well organized messenger bag to the floor. A loud thud echoed in the empty room for a brief second. She cursed her self for tacking so many classes this year.

Hermione leaned against a wall for support, before slowly sliding to the bottom of the floor. She let her tears flow down her cheeks as she watched her bag absently. The small rip in her bag was growing from the amount of books, parchment, and note books it held. Not to mention quills, an inkwell and several things for potions class. She pointed her wand at he bag. Thread flew out of the tip and began to stitch its self into the material and mend the rip. It also held something very near and dear to her. Something she had had for years, since first year. But only now in these past weeks had it become important to her. It was a small knife, used for chopping or slicing ingredients for potions.

Afew weeks ago she had been distracted while she was using it in class and cut her finger. She didn't even notice at first. Hermione had just felt a small twinge at first, but the pain soon worsened. Her worries of class and work and grades and the time turner suddenly vanished. She was only able to look at the amount of blood coming from the gash. It felt good. Hermione remembered wanting to press the knife to her skin again, she was about to but Ron had noticed what had happened to Hermione. Snape soon noticed that two of his Griffendor student were not working. He soon swooped over, deducted some points, and sent Hermione to the Hospital wing. Hermione let madam Pomfery heal the wound but since then shenow cut her arms, just to release the stress of school. And now with her two best friends mad at her she needed more stress and emotional paintaken away.

After staring at her bag for quite a while she reached over and grabbed it. Hermione unzipped the smaller compartment and began to dig for her knife. She felt around for it touching small glass vials and feathery quills. Finally she found it, she grasped her hands around it and pulled it out. Hermione found her knife beautiful. It was all metal. The blade was smooth, with out any groves. Light bounced off of it and make a spot on the floor lighter. With it still in her hand she pushed up her sleeve, reveling pale, pale skin littered with many large and small cuts. Some were fading scars, others scabs, many were fresh. Hermione placed her knife to her skin and ever so slowly pulled it across he soft sensitive skin. Pain wonderful pain. Her thoughts erased. Her worries relieved as blood flowed and she cut herself again and again and again. Blood dripped slowly down her arms. Hermione stood up, feeling slightly feint, and walked into the nearest stall and grabbed some toilet paper. Sitting back down Hermione cleaned off the spilled blood and stopped the bleeding of the last cut. She tossed the bloody tissue into the garbage pail. Still sitting Hermione again reached for her bag. She put her knife back and grabbed a small tube of magic concealed. It was the same make up she wore every day. But this kind differed from muggle products. It didn't rub off clothes and it would make any unwanted blemish invisible for six hours at a time. It also worked of scars. Hermione applied it to her arms and the cuts vanished. As long as she had that and long sleeves no one needed to know about Hermione secrete.

END FLASH BACK

Hermione was still distant with everyone. Consumed with her classes, slowly she found she was collapsing under her stress. She was more irritable. If anyone disturbed her in the middle of her work they were likely to be verbally harassed. Her time-traveling and days that were longer than normal only worsened her fragile condition. Her habit was theone of twothings she felt she could relay on. Hermione also had visited Hagrid quite a few times. It helped a little, being able to talk to him about Ron and Harry and classes. He knew Hermione was really upset. But he had no clue how hurt and distressed she was. Every time Hermione visited him she made sure that all her cuts were covered, by magic or clothing. He knew nothing of her cutting.

Hermione sat in the common room working as usual, her books and papers spread out on three tables. At the moment she was poring through books and leagal docments to help Buckbeak's trial. It was extereamly hard to find thing that would help the hippergriff and Hagrid, _but at least they will have something_ she thought. The portrait opened and Harry walked in. Hermione didn't look up. She heard a bit of commotion over near where Harry just entered. She looked over. He was holding his firebolt around a group of people with a smile on his face. Ten minutes or so passed before Harry and Ron made their way over to her.

"I got it back." said Harry, grinning at her and holding up the firebolt.

"See, Hermione? There wasn't anything wrong with it!" said Ron.

_Just what I need now. My friends rubbing my face in I told you so's. _Thought Hermione. "Well--- there _might _have been," said Hermione . The trio contended to talk. Ron left to give Scabbers rat tonic and put back Harry's broom stick. Harry and Hermione talked about her load of work and how she was managing it all. _Finally_ ,Hermione thought, _its all better. I have my friends back_. That brief second of bliss was soon ended. Ron was running down the stairs from the boy dormitories. A pile of sheets in his hands. He strided over to Hermione and shuck them in her face. "LOOK," he bellowed "LOOK!"

"Ron, what----?"

"SCABBERS! LOOK! SCABBERS!" Hermione looked better at the sheets blood covered them.

"BLOOD! HE'S GONE!AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT WAS ON THE FLOOR"

"N--no," said Hermione in a trembling voice. Becoming more and more upset by the second.

Ron raised his clenched fist in the air and released it over the table. Ginger cat hairs floated down to Hermione's rune translation. _He has no proof_, she thought, _those hairs could have been their since Christmas. For all I know he could have just plucked them off Crookshanks head. Besides Scabbers has been sick since the summer._When she told this to Harry he _still_ sided with Ron. Leaving Hermione alone again. With her work and her knife.

A/N:yes its sad, poor Hermione. i'll try to update soon. plz review.ideas are helpful.thanks.


	2. No Peace Tonight

Disclaimer: It all belongs to JK. Oh to have a mind like hers would be wonderful…

With out her friends once more Hermione did what she had to do to keep on going. She had to get good marks in her classes. Work Kept piling up. She after all had more classes than anyone else at school, and some were particularly hard. But it didn't stop Hermione. She kept going. Even though she felt like her work was slowly killing her. Plus with all her time-turning, lat night and early morning studying she was awake longer than anyone else.

Even with all her work to do Hermione decided to see the qudditch match: Gyrffendor vs. Ravenclaw. She sat in the stands alone. Normally she would sit by Ron, but she didn't want to deal with another row right mow so she sat alone. She was tempted to join Lavender and Parvati, she knew they wouldn't say anything nasty to her. _They probably wouldn't say anything to me_, she thought, _I almost would rather be put down than ignored. _The match started. Hermione couldn't fallow the sport too well, usually she had Ron to explain everything to her. Hermione stared at people above her on broom sticks. Harry and Cho were racing for the snitch. Her train of thought drifted to Ron and Harry. She missed them so much. She wondered what they would say if they knew what she was doing to her self. If they knew that she was cutting her arms, that her knife had became her new best friend. _What would they say? They would be shocked for one. _She thought. _They would be worried and they would mane me stop. I don't want to stop so I guess they will never know. For now I will be miserable with out them, with my mountains of work to do, I will cut my self to become free. Its not safe I know, but its all I have. It is my one _….her thought was broken off. Loud cheering and screaming people stood around her. _Oh I guess we won. _

She looked over the many heads to see Harry holding the golden snitch. Hermione decided it would be best to get to the common room now while she could do some work in peace. No doubt their would be a nosy party that would last into the night. Quickly Hermione exited the stands and was the first to the common room. Hermione brought down her belongings to a table and started to study. Slowly talkative, happy people entered the room. She placed a charm around her self so that the noise was much quitter, but still not quite as she would have liked. All the other Gryffendors seemed to be having a good time except her. A large book: Home and Social Habits of British Muggles was laid out in front of her.

"Did you even come to the match," A voice near her spoke. It was Harry.

"Of course I did," Hermione spoke with out looking up "And I'm very glad we won, and I think you did really well but I need to read this by Monday"

"Come on, Hermione, come and have some food," said Harry.

"I can't, Harry. I've still got 422 pages to read!" she said starting to sound hysterical. "Any way ….._He_ doesn't want me to join in"

Ron suddenly joined the conversation ",If Scabbers hadn't just been _eaten_, he could have had some of those fudge flies. He used to really like them--"

This was too much for Hermione. She burst into tears, grabbed her book and ran up the stairs to the girls dorms. He doesn't care about me. All he cares for is that dumb rat. I could die tomorrow and all he would be able to say is _who cares you know that one was wrong it was all her fault that Scabbers is dead. _She was so lonely in he empty dormitory. Though it wasn't much better when it was full of other girls who ignored her a bit.

Hermione collapsed onto her bed and sobbed into her pillow for a long while before pulling her curtains shut. She reached into her pocket and pulled out her small knife. She looked at it carefully. It was about the size of a muggle exacto knife and was all metal. Darkness sounded her in her four poster bed. Hermione pulled the blade against her already militated skin. Small drips of blood flowed out. It was just enough to satisfy her for the time being. She had work to do. Hermione ignored the drying blood and wiped some of the reaming wetness from her cheeks. She sat cross legged with her back resting on the back board of her bed. She placed her book in her lap. She read till two in the morning, turned time back and did it again till the book was completed. She made sure to cast a spell so that she time would just be rewound and she would not have to deal with a _past_ Hermione. McGonagall had taught her the spell at the beginning on the year for situations like this. The transfiguration teacher knew Hermione would be over worked with classes but felt confident her star pupil could do it. Hermione had no clue of how many hours she spent with glassy, tired eyes on the book. She placed the book on the floor and pulled on a long sleeved night gown. Hermione turned time back one last time. Back to when she ran up the stairs and away from Ron and Harry. She crept down the stairs and peaked out the door into the common room where the celebrations were still going on. The door was only open a crack, just so she could just one eye to see Harry and Ron. They stood near the table where they had been sitting what now seemed like hours ago to Hermione.

"Can't you give her a break?" Harry asked his red haired friend.

"No. if she just acted like she was sorry--but she'll never admit she's wrong, Hermione. She's still acting like Scabbers has gone on vacation or something.

Hermione closed the crack in the door and sighed. She sank down and sat on the lower steps of the stair case. Too tired to cry she Put her head in her hands and just tried to comprehend why Scabbers was more important than her. Could a person really love an animal more than a friend. A best friend. And besides Crookshanks couldn't have done it. He just couldn't have. But to prove this to the boy would be near impossible. Exhausted and sad Hermione stood up. He placed a hand on the stone wall. Her loose sleeve slid down her arm. Cuts and scars were of course revealed. Hermione let out a sigh as she looked at the damage she had done to her self. _I wonder_…she thought… _if they knew, what would they say. How would they react_. A thought of revealing her wounds to Ron and Harry crossed her mind. She just had to open the door and show them her arm. In her head she could see herself saying to her friends. _Look at what you do to me cant you see how your pride and arrogance and single mindedness effects me. Have you seen me with out a smile on my face for weeks._ But no. She could not do that. It wasn't that was wasn't brave enough.It was just that they should not have to be told. But boys are clueless about many things. But not to notice a best friend is in danger. Hermione shook her head from side to side and made her way up the stairs and laid in her bed.

A few hours later just as Hermione was starting to drift to the unconscious world of dream land a parade of girls entered the room, All who were complaining about the unfairness of their head of house and the rules of curfew. Dream land came her imagination drifted to things of a happier subject. In it Herself, Ron, and Harry were walking through a crowed field full of odd tents. Laughing and smiling and they enjoyed the sun and the sounding magical environment. Then darkness….a quick flash of a green light, in some sort of shape….a scream…..

Hermione bolted upright in bed. The dorm was illuminated. The scream was real. It was Ron's Voice. The girls were all out of bed, Lavender and Parvati peaking out the door to see what had happened. Others talking in their room and ones on different levels.

"Stand aside ladies," Professor Mcgonnall asked. The girls move to the right and sat on Lavenders bed. "If you please everyone gather in the common room." The third year girls did as they were told.

In the common room sat the 1st and 2nd year girls as well as all the boys in Gryffendor. Many conversations were taking place. She repeatedly heard the name Sirus Black. Worry sweep through her skin. She immanently scanned the room for Ron and Harry. Ah their they are, they seemed to be in the center of the conversation, along with the other bays of her year. She saw Percy standing near the portrait to exit the room. He stood with the sense of great responsibility. Still looking around, Hermione saw Neville sitting in secluded corner of the room. He looked very upset. The girls door opened and the forth year girls came out. Hermione found a seat by a half-a sleep Ginny Weasley. Slowly more girls came down the stairs.

Hermione glanced around the room. Everyone still in pajamas. Hermione looked at the shear material of her night gown covering her legs, she gasped and quickly looked moved her eyes to her arms. She could barley see red marks on her skin through the cloth. The gasp seemed to wake Ginny up.

"Alright Hermione?"

"Yeah, I'm good Gin. I just had a thought"

"Oh alrightHermione" and Ginny closed her eyes and laid against the cohesion of the loveseat. Hermione crossed her arms, pretending she was cold, so not a sole would see the underside of her arms. The door opened again the oldest girls walked down the stairs fallowed by McGonagall.

McGonagall Stood near the door from which she had just passes through, with a stern worried look on her face. Her hair was let down and some what askew. She was also still in pajamas and bed robe. They Griffendors stared at her in silence. Hermione just realized that when she appeared that all the students stopped talking. "I do not mean to alarm you but as you might have already heard form Mr. Weasley" she said gesturing to Ron "that Sirius Black has entered the school this evening" McGonagall paused as whispers began to float around the room. "The school is currently being searched for Black. I ask that you all stay in the common room until mourning. As head boy Percy will be in charge, as well as the prefects. I must leave now to help search the castle," McGonagall strode across the room and opened the door to leave "If I hear word of any miss behaving tonight I will be sure they will be in detention for a _long_ time" and with that she left.

No one in the Gryffendor tower slept that night.

A/N: I'll update ASAP. Plz review.


	3. Just some distraction

A/N: Here's chapter 3. Hope you like it.

No one in Gryffindor tower slept that night...

Hermione was well aware that Ron was nearly killed last night. Her eyes wandered around the room to see a barely awake Ron sitting by Harry. _What if he had not screamed….He would have been killed….would any of the third year boys in her house survived. After all Black had managed to murder a wizard and a street full of muggles, in broad day light no less. Would my friends be dead,_ she thought to her self. The sun was beginning to rise. McGonagall had told them earlier that they could go up to their dormitories if they wish. Several went back to their rooms but for the most part the Gryffindors were too tired or scared to go back to bed in an empty room.

Hermione looked at their two best friends. She could have lost them last night. In a way maybe she had lost them long ago when Harry got his broom. Tears welled up in her eyes. _Here I am worrying about them hoping their ok, being glad their alive when they have ignored me for weeks. At the rate I'm going I could be dead before end of the year exams, or perhaps even sooner. Don't my friends love me, I guess not._ Tears began fall down her cheeks as she walked to her dormitory. She wiped them away with her sleeve.

Hermione looked at her sleeve. She could see the cuts through the thin fabric. She kept her arms crossed all night so no one could see the underneath's of her arms. Being very glad no one saw them during the night she continued her march to her dorm. Walking inside it she came to her bed and fell down on it. It was so comfortable. After lying down for a while she sat up in her bed. She realized that her small knife was mixed in with her sheets. Hermione placed her fingers around it gently. She pushed up her sleeve and did what she loved and hated. After cleaning up the red mess Hermione pulled on a pair of jeans and a sweater. She grabbed her cloke and walked to the common room and out through the portrait.

"Thought everyone in this house would be sleeping in today" said a voice behind her.

"Oh I didn't know they replaced Sir Cadogan"

"Well they sure had to, didn't they? We don't want another mishap like last night" said The Fat Lady.

"Yeah" said Hermione distantly once again thinking of Ron and Harry.

"I agreed to come back, but I'm not happy about it. "But Headmaster promised to place new security measures around the castle and my portrait."

Hermione nodded and walked down the stairs. She realized that she was the only student out except for several older kids who were in other houses. Hermione made her way down to the Great Hall. She didn't feel hungry but she was curious as to who was in side. She looked through the open door and saw people scattered along the tables and a few teachers up front. She turned away and walked towards the entrance Hall. She had a feeling that there were new rules that would keep her inside unless she was in the presents of a teacher. Well she thought, I am after all gong to visit a teacher. It won't matter when I do get down their.

Hermione walked outside and began her decent down to Hagrid's hut. It was a cold February day. The icy snow crunched beneath her feet. When she approached the hut she realized that her ears, hands and nose stung with cold and were bright pink. It didn't matter to her though. She walked to the door and brought her fist to the wood and rapped lightly. Almost immanently the door opened.

"Oh hello Hermione", said Hagrid brightly.

"Hi Hagrid", Hermione said trying her best to look cheerful as she walked in.

"Thought they'd be keepin' students indoors after what happened last night", he said as he closed the door behind him. Hermione got a good look at him. He looked as tired as all the Gryffindors. "Dumbledore had me searchin the grounds for Black. Don't see how e could do it, Black escapein I mean".

"Yeah", replied Hermione quietly, now taking a seat at Hagrid's large table. Hagrid was still standing. He kept also sat down opposite Hermione.

"Ron and Harry alright?"

"They seem fine, I haven't talked to them too much……"

"Still? I thought things would be better after Harry got his broom back."

"It's Ron….He thinks Crookshanks ate his rat. Harry sided with him." Hermione said sadly.

"Oh Hermione" Hagrids voice filled with sympathy "Try not to let em get to yeh, don' you worry, they still are your friends. Lot a time people don' realize what the do to the people round them"

"I know Hagrid, but they have barely talked to me for a month", Hermione said as she wiped away fresh tears.

Hagrid pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket and handed it to Hermione. "I'll be fine Hermione. You can bet I'll be havin a talk with the two a em."

"No Hagrid. Its alright I'll be fine. You don't need to talk to them"

"Nonsense, there your friends. It's _cruel _of em to treat you like this. You don' need any of that with all your classes and everything"

Hermione shrugged her shoulders.

"How are your classes going, now that I think of it?"

"Ah…well it's alright. I'm just having a hard time keeping up with everything, but I'm managing to get it done."

"That's good." said Hagrid as he opened the back door, Hermione's eyes fallowed.

"Beaky!" Hagrid called out and soon enough the large, grey; hippogriff strode in and lay down on Hagrids patchwork quilt that was spread out on the floor.

"Oh Hagrid that reminds me", said Hermione brightly "I found a lot of good information for Buckbeak". Hermione and Hagrid continued to talk about the trial and preparations for it. Hermione left Hagrids cabin later that afternoon. She was in a much better mood. But still she wondered if she should have told him about everything. _Well Hagrid will be talking to them so things will better then and then all I have to worry about is school work but I've been able to keep it up all year. _She thought as she walked back to the castle. _Should I have told him about the cutting? No they would just make me stop, and my parents would find out. If anyone knew about this they would be worried. No one can know. I have it under control. I need it. It makes the bad go away. If I don't have that then all I have is work, and I need some kind of enjoyment. _

Hermione rationalized her problem and to her was not a problem. But it did make things more difficult. She had to hide the cuts. She had to lie. She had to find places to be alone. But she was confident she could manage. But in the back of her mind she knew that it was slowly killing her. She knew she needed to stop. She was addicted and it didn't matter because she loved it. Her weary conscious told her to hate it but the ignored that little voice of reason.

A/N: Their you go. I want to turn this into a shippy fic so does anyone have any suggestions. Nothing slashey. I was thinking about making it Hermione/Ron. What do you guys thing. And by the way please review. Thanks. I'll try to get chapter 4 up soon.


	4. Continuing to build on the lie

A/N: Ok guys, hears chapter 4. Please review! I feel like I'm writing this story for nothing. This is a long chapter and I promise the next one will be better with more dialogue and conflict.

Two days has passed since Hermione's discussion with Hagrid. It was a bit after nine. Ron and Harry were just back from Hagrids and Hermione had another row with Ron. Harry and Ron were talking about sneaking Harry into Hogsmeade. Hermione being a responsible and concerned person told them not to go in a very Hermione like way. She had threatened them about telling McGonagall about the map. It had not worked though. It wasn't safe for Harry. Sirius Black is still out there. The conversation ended when Ron insulted Hermione and then she retreated to her dormitory.

Hermione sat on her bed with Crookshankes on near the bottom of it. Lavender was across the room reading February's issue of Witch Weekly. Hermione stroked her cat absently. She had all her home work downstairs but was too proud to go back down. She thought of Ron's hurtful words. "Haven't you done enough damage this year" was what he said. _All I have ever done was for the safety of my friends_. She tried to tell her self_. Well, I guess it's just for their safety. Maybe I'm just too uptight with rules and stuff. Should I really be telling my friends what to do? Should I just let them just learn from their own mistakes. Yes, I think I'll do that. Harry is of course going to try to sneak into the village. I guess I won't tell McGonagall about that or the map. Harry and Ron will be safe. Theirs dementors every where. I'm just worrying about nothing. _

Hermione stared out the window, watching snow flakes blow back and forth.

"Hey Hermione", Hermione turned her head to Lavender who had just spoken.

"Hmm", Hermione responded wordlessly.

"Did you take notes in History of Magic the other day?"

"Course"

"Can I barrow please barrow them"

"Yeah, I'll go get them" Hermione didn't have home work in History of Magic so her book and notes where in her trunk. Lavender usually does her own work and doesn't always ask for notes, unlike two boys Hermione knows very well. Hermione got her note book and handed it to Lavender. "Here", she said kindly.

"Thanks Hermione"

"Yeah, any time"

Hermione went back to her bed and continued to stair out the window. The room was once again silent.

"You've been really quite lately Hermione. It's not like you. I'm not saying you're a loud mouth or anything but, it's just odd." Said Lavender

"Well, I've been really busy with lessons and stuff", Hermione said quickly.

"Yeah but you don't even say hi to anyone anymore. Not even to Ron and Harry"

"I'm not on the best terms with them right now"

"Ron's rat?"

"Yeah"

"Boys can be so stupid" said Lavender. Hermione nodded. "But you're ok, right"

Hermione's mind rushed. It screamed no no no I'm not ok. I'm not ok. Help. Help. Can't you see? I'm cutting my self. Everything she had held up could be let free. And someone was worried. Someone cared. Should I tell her? Would she keep my secrete? She does gossip a lot. But Hermione didn't let her mind talk.

"Lavender I'm fine, just a bit stressed."

"Alright, that's a relief. Parviti and I were a bit worried"

"You were?"

"Yeah, you have been well; you haven't been quite like your self"

"Don't worry. I'm fine", said Hermione firmly as if she was fine.

With that the conversation ended. The evening passed, and Hermione kept her secrete close to her, no one need know. She now knew that her room mates and Hagrid cared, but still she was unhappy. Even the next morning she cut her self, but she was slowly feeling guilty about it. The school week came to a close three days later on Friday. Friday was the day of Buckbeak's hearing in London. She had given Hagrid all the information she had gathered at breakfast that morning. The ministries decision wouldn't be announced till Saturday, leaving Hermione to pray for the Hippogriffs sake and Hagrid's.

Saturday Hermione didn't go to Hogsmeade. She instead did homework in the Library. Only a few other students were their. She had left the common room because it was filled with many sixth and seventh years, they didn't' kick her out but she felt a bit uncomfortable (Even though she had known them since first year).

Later that after noon as Hermione was walking from the library and back to the Gryffindor common room she heard a tapping at the window. Large dark brown owl was on the other side of the window. She let it in, it held out its leg to her. She figured it was for she untied the letter it was a very tear speckled letter from Hagrid. It read:

Dear Hermione,

We lost. I'm aloud to bring him back to Hogwarts.

Execution date to be fixed.

Beaky has enjoyed London.

I won't forget all the help you gave us.

-Hagrid

Hermione was also in tears after she read the letter. She folded it up placed it neatly in her pocket. She would have to tell Harry and Ron about this when they got back from Hogsmeade. She did want to talk to them but she was afraid of Ron hurting her again and Harry not standing up for her. But how could they hurt me with news like this. She stood by the window from where the post owl had just flown out. She looked across the grounds. She stuck her head out into the cold and looked around the corner of the castle. She could just barely see Hagrids home. There of course wasn't any of the usual smoke puffing out of the chimney. Hermione frowned, and brought her self back inside and closed the window. Her feet moved slowly through the almost empty halls. She wandered around aimlessly wandering if she should find a place to cut herself. She desperately wanted to. _It wouldn't be hard to find a place._ She thought as she came nearer to her common room. She heard a familiar voice.

"It's my fault. I persuaded you to go. Lupins right, it was stupid, we shouldn't have done it--" It was Ron who's voice she heard. Hermione walked towards them, avoiding the security trolls. She pulled the parchment that Hagrids letter was written on out of her pocket

"Come to have a good gloat?" snapped Ron "Or have you just been to tell on us?"

"No," said Hermione sadly. She felt like she was going to cry again, her lip began to tremble. "Just thought you ought to know… Hagrid lost his case. Buckbeak is going to be executed. He—he sent me this" She said as Harry took the letter.

"They can't do this. They can't. Buckbeak isn't dangerous", said Harry.

"Malfoy's dad frightened the committee into it. You know what he's like. They're a bunch old doddery old fools, and they were scared. There'll be an appeal though, there always is. Only I can't see any hope… nothing will have changed."

"Yeah, it will," said Ron all of a sudden "you won't have to do all the work this time, Hermione. I'll help."

"Oh, Ron!" said Hermione flung her arms around his neck and broke down. This was the first nice thing Ron had said to her in weeks. Tears poured out of her eyes. Ron awkwardly patted her on the top of her head and Hermione let go.

"Ron, I'm really, really sorry about Scabbers…"

"Oh—well—he was old and he was a bit useless. You never know, Mum and Dad might get me an owl now"

The three walked in to the common room as a trio once more.

The fact that Hermione had her friends back helped, also Ron took over the work for the appeal. All Hermione had left was her school work and the time turner to stress about. But still she probably had more work than anyone in the year, maybe even more than anyone in the entire school. So she continued to cut. Even an hour after she had her friends back, she made an excuse to go upstairs and slice her skin and watch her beautiful blood ooze out. She thought her blood was beautiful. It some how comforted her, seeing it, she liked it.

With all her disappearing from classes and other places to cut or use the time turner was beginning to leave her friends worried and curious as to where she was.

A week with her friends made time fly even quicker than normal for Hermione. They would make her laugh on occasion, but they were never quite able to completely cheer up Hermione. All year she had been more quite, she smiled less. Due to the amount of work for the most. But now it was worse, anyone could tell that Hermione's smiles were not true. Hermione knew she forced them; she didn't even try to hide it ninety nine percent of the time.

The only chance the three Gryffindors had to talk to Hagrid was in Care in of Magical creatures' class, the safety measures because of black stopped them from coming down in the evenings. Hagrid, Harry, Ron, and Hermione talked about the trial and Buckbeak. Hagrid soon started to cry.

"Look at him blubber! Have you ever seen anything quite as pathetic? And he's supposed to be our teacher!"

_Malfoy, insulting Hagrid. Hermione couldn't stand that; Hagrid had helped her when she was sad. Course I still feel sad, but if I told Hagrid everything then I wouldn't be. Now I'm just angry. _Thought Hermione. Then all of sudden---SMACK! Hermione punched Malfoy across the face with all the strength she had in her week, wounded arms. But it was enough.

"Don't you _dare_ call Hagrid pathetic, you foul—you evil—."

"Hermione!", said Ron weakly, and he grabbed her hand as she sung it back.

"Get o_ff_, Ron!", said Hermione as she pulled out her wand. Malfoy stepped backwards. His cronies looked at him, not sure of what to do.

"C'mon," Malfoy muttered as he headed back in to the castle.

"_Hermione!"_ Ron said again, sounding both stunned and impressed"

"Harry, you'd better beat him in Quidditich final! You better had, because I can't stand it if Slytherin wins!"

"We're due in Charms, we'd better go" said Ron he still looked stunned.

Hermione stopped walking, they continued on with out her. _Surely they have noticed something's wrong. Haven't they_? Hermione headed to the common room instead. She had to do some Arithmancy homework. The room and all the dormitories were empty. _Good, everyone still has classes. I can be alone. I'll do my work and go back just in time to make it in for charms._ Hermione trudged up the stairs, still not her usual self. She entered he dorm and walked to her things and grabbed the book she needed and set it on her bed. Out of the pocket she pulled out her knife, and raised her sleeve. It looked bare and pale; the effects of the makeup still make the damage invisible. She wiped as much of it off as possible on her pillow case, slowly cuts upon cuts appeared. They crisscrossed in many directions. She presses her knife to her skin and slowly dragged, taking in every bit of the bliss, all the relief.

Hermione of course knew why it worked, the pain, the evaporation of stress and worry. The same chemicals in the brain that were release when exercising or eating chocolate were released when cutting. Hermione knew all the dementors circling the castle weren't helping the situation either, and she wasn't athletic, and chocolate never seemed to have quite as a strong of effect as cutting.

After applying make up to cover up her arms she went back down into the common room to do her work. She had to finish her work. But with lack of sleep and proper nutrition, she fell asleep with ease into her Arithmancy book.

Mean while the boys entered the charms room from the marble stair case. Professor Flitwick didn't seem too mad. He told them they were working on the cheering charm.

They headed to find a place to sit and opened their bags.

"Where's Hermione gone?" asked Ron

"That's weird. Maybe—maybe she went to the bathroom or something" Harry told his friend but she never showed up for class. The bell rang and they headed for the Great Hall for lunch.

"She could've done with a Cheering Charm on her too" Ron said.

Hermione didn't show up at lunch either.

"D'you ever get the feeling Hermione's not telling us something?" Ron asked Harry in between bites of his sandwich.

"Yeah, she doesn't seem her self"

"Harry I'm starting to get worried" and Ron truly looked it.

"She could be just trying too hard with school and stuff; she has taken a lot of classes you know", Harry said, trying to be optimistic.

"Sure hope your right mate"

They finished their meal and headed quickly up the stair case to Gryffindor tower. "You don't think Malfoy did something to her?" Ron asked. Thy passed the trolls and said the password.

A puff of brown bushy hair was visible on one of the tables. The boys headed over to her right away and sat on either side of her. Harry gave her a nudge to wake her up.

"Wh—what?" Hermione snapped awake "Is it time to go? Which lesson have we got now?"

"Divination in 20 minutes. Why didn't you come to charms?"

"What? Oh no! I forgot all about charms!"

"How could you forget? You were right out side the classroom with us."

"I don't believe it! Was Professor Flitwick angry? Oh, it was Malfoy, I was thinking about Malfoy and I err lost track of things!"

"You know what Hermione? I reckon you're cracking up. You're trying too much" Ron told her kindly and with concern. He glanced at her hand. A bit of dried blood was on it. There was also some on a page filled with tables in her very large book.

"No I'm not" she said becoming very defensive "I just made a mistake that's all" And with that she left, saying she had to see Professor Flitwick and would meet them in divination.

A/N: Please review! I'm begging you, what do you think?


	5. Memory flows from the veins

A/N: Ok guys, here's chapter 5.

Ron's POV

I ran up to Harry, _if we don't hurry we will be late for class._ I can see the class room.

"Your late boys", the small teacher spoke. He told us to work together on the cheering charm.

"Where's Hermione gone?" asked I Harry scanning the room for signs of bushy brunette hair. _Where could she be? She never misses class. _

"That's weird. Maybe—maybe she went to the bathroom or something" Harry told me trying not to sound too concerned. But Hermione never showed up for class. Where is she? While we were running did she fall and get hurt? I hope that didn't happen. I've done enough to hurt her these last few weeks, the last thing she would need is to have Harry and I run off while she needed us.

Five minutes remained in class. My thoughts were still on Hermione. The cheering charm didn't work too well on me; I pasted a grin resembling the one on all the other students in the class. I never realized how hard it was to be happy till now. I continued to think.

"Ron! Ron", I heard Harry's voice in my ear.

"Huh wha—."

"Ron, bell rang. Lunch time"

"Oh yeah." I said getting out of my seat. We walked in silence; the smile began to fade off Harry's face. The charm was dieing.

"Can't believe Hermione missed class"

I nodded and said," She could've done with a Cheering Charm on her too".

We were quite the rest of the way to the great hall and most of lunch. I was in a hurry to finish something wasn't right with Hermione. She didn't show up at lunch either.

"D'you ever get the feeling Hermione's not telling us something?" I finally asked Harry in between bites of my sandwich.

"Yeah, she doesn't seem her self"

"Harry I'm starting to get worried" I hung my head down, sorry for all the hurtful words I spoke to her.

"She could be just trying too hard with school and stuff; she has taken a lot of classes you know", Harry said, trying to be optimistic. Normally Hermione is the optimistic one. She was always optimistic and reasonable at the same time.

"Sure hope your right mate"

We finished and headed quickly up the stair case to Gryffindor tower. "You don't think Malfoy did something to her?" I asked. She did punch him after all. He could be pissed about it. Maybe she's in the hospital wing.

We passed the trolls and told the fat lady the password.

I sighed in relief. Over in the farthest table sat a sleeping Hermione. Harry and I went over to her. I sat on her left, Harry on her right. She looked very tired. Her skin was paler than normal and dark circles hung round her eyes. I didn't want to wake her up. But Harry gave her a nudge to wake her up.

"Wh—what?" Hermione snapped awake "Is it time to go? Which lesson have we got now?"

"Divination in 20 minutes. Why didn't you come to charms?"

"What? Oh no! I forgot all about charms!"

"How could you forget? You were right out side the classroom with us."

"I don't believe it! Was Professor Flitwick angry? Oh, it was Malfoy, I was thinking about Malfoy and I err lost track of things!" Hermione spoke very quickly. I frowned, I wish were able t concentrate on things beside school. That would make things so much easier for her.

"You know what Hermione? I reckon you're cracking up. You're trying too much" I finally told her as nicely as I could. My eyes moved from her sad face to the table. Something caught my attention. Her hand lay on the wooden surface. Two of her fingers and a bit of her had had something reddish brown on it. Blood. Why is their blood on Hermione's hand? Was it a paper cut? Yeah, she does have a lot of parchment to work with, all her classes and stuff. My eyes glanced at the page in her book filled with charts and tables. A bit of dried blood was on it also. It's probably nothing, maybe I should ask her about it later.

"No I'm not. I just made a mistake that's all" she said becoming very defensive. What did I say? I always say the wrong thing. Hermione got up from her chair and left. She said she would meet us in divination after talking with Flitwick.

Harry and I stared at each other. I could tell we were thinking the same thing. Harry looked worried. I'm sue my face resembled his. Hermione had left all her papers out. We put them on one of her folders and set them in a pile so that they would not be ruined by any careless Gryffindors.

"Come on, lets get an early start to divination" Harry said he probably thought Hermione would already be their. We left the common room together.

"Wait Ron where are you going? Divinations up in the north tower"

"Oh I just need to go to the bathroom real quick, I'll see you in class"

"Alright" He said. I watched him walk up the stairs. I felt bad about leaving him. He was after all having a hard time too. He had qudditich, restrictions, dementors, school work, and not to mention a crazed killer manic after him. But over all he was coping better than Hermione. Hermione was completely with drawn.

I headed to the charms room, hoping to catch up with her their. Flitwick walked out of the room as I came to it.

"Professor, professor" He turned his head and looked up. "Um professor, by any chance have you seen Hermione?" I asked

"Sorry Mr.Weasley" Flitwick squeaked "You just missed her"

"Thanks Professor" I said and started to walk the long way to divination, or I guess it would be the long way to the north tower. Same place pretty much. My feet carried me slowly as I thought about the well fair of my two best friends. Please let them be ok. Why can't thing be normal. Were things ever normal? I looked at my watch. I still had time to go to the bathroom, not that I needed to. I just wasn't ready to go to divination. The closest one on the second floor, only one floor down. I headed to it. Two doors were in front on me. I placed my hand on the one that read boys and paused, I heard something. It was kind a moan or whimper. It came from the girl's room. It was Myrtles bathroom after all. But it didn't sound like Myrtle. The ghost girl's voice was more high pitched and louder. This moan was soft. It was not meant for anyone to hear it.

It was a little over a year since the last time I entered their. When Hermione was making the pollyjuice potion and we used it to become Slytherens. Hermione's potion went wrong. But she did look cool as a cat. A smile crept on my face thinking about it. It vanished when I remembered that she was petrified later that year. Without another thought I opened the room to the girl's room. On the floor was a school bag I recognized. Hermione's bag. One of the stalls was occupied.

"Hermione?"

Their was no answer

"Hermione, I know your in their. You ok?"

"Ron! Get out of here. Your not suppose to be in here"

"You didn't have a problem with it last year" I said thinking quickly. Suddenly I had another memory. Hermione crying in the bathroom. First year. Then the troll. Then Harry and I had a new best friend. "Hermione, I thought. I though I herd some one make a whimper kind of noise. I know it wasn't Myrtle"

"Ron I'm fine," she said, still locked up in the stall.

"Then come out, We can head up to divination together"

"I will _just_ meet you and Harry up their"

"Just come out Hermione"

"_Fine_" She said, not sounding too happy about it.

Hermione came out. Her eyes were red. "Ok Ron lets go to class."

"Hermione, what's wrong? Your eyes are red"

"I'm just fine Ronald!"

I took a deep sigh. We were quite for a while. "Hermione" I pleaded my voice very soft "Please tell me what's wrong. I won't tell anyone. Not even Harry. We can all tell something is bothering you."

"Ron no. You'll tell McGonagall. I'll get sent to the hospital wing and my parents will get a very sad letter in the owl post."

"You're not bulimic, are you?" I said, reasoning why she would be not eating much and now find her in a bathroom crying and being worried about her parents finding out. Also that thing she said about the infirmary.

"Course not Ron." She said looking at her feet. "But it is something else, perhaps just as bad"

I became worried once again. What's wrong with Hermione? Before I could say anything else she reached into her pocket. She pulled out a small knife, one used in potions class. I became confused. I said nothing, not wanting to say the wrong thing once again.

"Ron?" she asked probably from seeing my confused expression. "Here, this will explain it" And with that she pulled up her left sleeve. My eyes grew wide. I felt slightly faint. Dozens on cuts, old scars and freshly bleeding covered her arm like many red bangles.

"Her-Hermione? H-how did you? Who did this to you?"

She put her sleeve back down. "Ron" she looked at the ground again. "I err I did that to my self"

I was speechless. I couldn't imagine why anyone would want to hurt them self.

A/N: Ok, giving you guys a bit if a cliffy, maybe it will inspire some of you to review.


	6. Pulled from the wreckage

Disclaimer: Its all JK's. The ideas for the chapter titles come from Sarah McLachlan's song Angle. Nothing but the plot (kinda because this it out of 3rd yr) belong to me.

A/N: Thank you anonyme for my first review. I'll try to update asap.

And thank you Briee for your review. I'm glad you've been wanting to read something like this and I can give it to you.

Hermione's POV

"You know what Hermione? I reckon you're cracking up. You're trying too much" Ron said. I could tell he was trying to be nice about it, but he was right. I am cracking up. I belong in some psych ward. I could feel my friends eyes on me. Ron's in particular. I looked to where he was looking. My Hand. My book. Both with spots of dried blood. Damn. Maybe he didn't notice. He probably didn't make the connection. Ok I just have to get out of here.

"No I'm not. I just made a mistake that's all" I said lying to my friends and my self. I hope I don't have to do that again. I know their worried. But the mustn't know. I'm fine on my own. I'm handling this just fine. No you not screamed a voice in the back of my head. Your cutting yourself. You're not normal. You need help. No I don't I screamed back at the voice. Still trying to figure out what I need or don't need I gave my friends a goodbye and told them I would see them next class, after talking to Professor Flitwick.

I left the room and went to the charms class. I hope Professor is their. Walking down the stairs I began to think of what to tell him. Arriving at the charms room I knocked on the door and entered the class. No students were in their, most still at lunch I guess.

"Professor Flitwick?" I asked scanning the room for the small teacher. He appeared form a tall stack of books

"Yes Miss Granger"

"Sorry I missed class today. I err had some problems with the time tur--"

"Quite alright." squeaked the small man.

"Umm what did I miss?

"Today we worked on the cheering charm. Not quite difficult at all. As long as you get the notes and practice a bit I'm sure a student like your self will do fine." 

"Thank you Professor" I said and left. How could I have missed the cheering charm. Probably wouldn't have worked on me anyway. But still I bet it'll be important for end of the year exams. How could I be so stupid? My feet quickened. I need to cut. I found my self in Myrtles bathroom on the second floor. She was luckily gone. Last time I tried to cut here, she was floating above the stalls and I had to find another private place.

I entered my usual stall, the one right in the center. I locked the door and sat on the toilet. Silent tears steamed down my cheeks. Why am I like this? I pulled my knife oft of my pocket. I made several red lines across both arms. I sighed in relief, freeing my bad emotions. Then…pow they all came back. Guilt strongest of all. My friends love me and I'm lying to them. I'm hurting my self, when there isn't much reason. I started crying again, this time not silently. My face wrinkled up. I'm sure I look a mess.

Wait. What's that? Footsteps were approaching the girls room. Someone is just passing by, no one ever comes in here.

I heard a loud creek of the door, some one entered. Please just let them use the toilet and leave.

"Hermione?"

Ron. Ron? What's he doing in here?

"Hermione, I know your in their. You ok?" He asked

"Ron Get out of here. Your not suppose to be in here" I shouted at him. Just leave, I thought, please Ron just go away. It's none of your business.

"You didn't have a problem with it last year" snapped Ron. I didn't expect that. His voice became more soft "Hermione, I thought. I though I herd some one make a whimper kind of noise. I know it wasn't Myrtle"

"Ron I'm fine," I shouted again, lying once more

"Then come out, We can head up to divination together"

"I will just meet you and Harry up their" I told him, becoming more and more frustrated.

"Just come out Hermione"

"Fine" I told him. I rolled my sleeves down, wiped my tears away and pocketed my knife. I stepped out of the stall, hoping we would walk to class and that would be the end of it., "Ok Ron lets go to class."

"Hermione, what's wrong? Your eyes are red"

"I'm just fine Ronald!"

Ron took a deep sigh. "Hermione" he pleaded "Please tell me what's wrong. I won't tell anyone. Not even Harry. We can all tell something is bothering you."

"Ron no. You'll tell McGonagall. I'll get sent to the hospital wing and my parents will get a very sad letter in the owl post."

"You're not bulimic, are you?". 

"Course not Ron." I said looking at my feet. I smiled slightly for a moment because of Ron's reasoning. "But it is something else, perhaps just as bad" His expression became very worried and confused

"Ron?" I asked. "Here, this will explain it" And with that I pulled up my left sleeve. His eyes grew wide, but at the same time I felt a bit of relief.

"Her-Hermione? H-how did you? Who did this to you?"

I put her sleeve back down. "Ron" I said looking at the ground again. "I err I did that to my self" I blushed, embarrassed and ashamed with my self.

"Hermione? Why would you do something like that?"

"Ron, it--it's hard to explain" I told him "It's sort of a err a release, I guess. A distraction from stress and the things that hurt me inside"

"Doesn't it hurt?"

I paused "Yes and no."

"Wha--?"

"It hurts, buts it feels better than the emotional pain I guess" I said, wanting very much to be alone.

"How long have you you you--know"

"Since that day in potions class when I accidentally sliced my finger in potions back in October"

(End Hermione's POV)

Ron leaned against the wall and sat down. Hermione remained standing.

"Your not going to tell anyone _are you?"_

"Hermione, I'm not the smart one but I know that it's dangerous"

"Please Ron"

Ron looked up at her with concern.

"Alright Hermione."

"Oh thank you so much Ron" Hermione said and walked over to her friend and sat down.

"Yeah. But you should at least get those cuts healed"

"Ron I don't need them healed, they'll heal on their own"

"I'm not telling you to go to Pomfrey or anything. If any one can do it you can"

Hermione gave him a small smile.

"Besides, Hermione isn't hard to hide"

Hermione grabbed her bag and pulled it over. Reaching inside she pulled out the container of magical foundation. Ron took it and read what it was.

"Hermione?"

"Yeah Ron?"

"Will you please stop?"

"I want to but…"

"But what?"

"But it-it's just so addictive."

Ron reached over to Hermione and gave her a hug. "It's gonna be alright"

"Thanks Ron"

"Yeah, anytime. We should talk more later, but if we don't hurry we're going to be late for divination"

"Alright" They stood up and walked to the door.

"Wait Hermione"

"What?"

"Umm the err knife. Its not that I don't trust you. I just well you said it was addictive and--"

"You want me to give it to you don't you"

"Yeah, we all care about you Hermione. Harry and the whole lot of Gryffindor. It anything ever happened--"

Hermione reached into her cloak pocket and handed it over. "Here"

"Ok let's get going"

"Ron, Harry doesn't know you meet up with me. He might ask what happened or where we've been. I'll meet you two at the foot of the ladder. I don't want Harry to know. He has enough on his plate."

"You sure Hermione?"

"Yeah go a head"

"If you say so"

The duo split up and took different ways to the north tower. Ron was in search of Harry. He found him coming out of the common room on his way upstairs. Not long after the got to the ladder Hermione showed up.

"I can't believe I missed Cheering Charms; And I bet they come up in our exams. Professor Flitwick hinted they might", Hermione said. Trying to be as normal as possible.

The trio climbed the ladder and entered the divination room.

"I thought we weren't studying crystal balls until next term." said Ron eyeing the crystal balls placed around the room. He also was trying to keep normal.

"Don't complain, this means we've finished palmistry" muttered Harry "I was getting sick of her flinching every time she looked at my hands"

"Good day to you" said Professor Trelawney in her misty voice "I have decided to introduce the crystal ball a little earlier than I had planned. The fates have informed me that your examination in June will concern the orb, and I am anxious to give you sufficient practice."

"Well, honestly… 'The fates have informed her'…. and who sets the exam? She does. What an amazing prediction?" Hermione said as Ron and Harry tried not to laugh. After Trelawney talked more about the orbs they got to work.

"See anything yet?" Asked Harry after 15 minutes.

"Yeah, theirs a burn on the table" said Ron pointing to the burn "Someone's spilled their candle."  
"This is such a waste of time. I could be practicing something useful. I could be catching up on cheering charms--" said Hermione

"Would anyone like me to help them interpret the shadowy portents with in their Orb?" The professor murmured. 

"I don't need help" Ron whispered "It's obvious what this means. There's going to be loads of fog tonight."

Hermione and Harry burst out laughing. Hermione had not laughed so hard in weeks.

"Now really" Professor Trelawney said looking into Harry's orb" Now there is something here. Something moving…but what is it? My dear….it is here, plainer than ever before….my dear, stalking towards you, growing ever closer…the Gr--"

"Oh, for goodness' sake!" said Hermione loudly "Mot that ridiculous Grim again!"

The room was in shock. The teacher almost was shacking with anger.

"I am sorry to say that from the moment you have arrived in this class, my _dear_, it has been apparent that you do not have what the noble art of divination requires. Indeed, I don't remember ever meeting a student whose mind was so hopelessly mundane"

-Silence-

"Fine!" Hermione said shoving her supplies into her bag "Fine" she said again, swinging her bag onto her shoulder and almost knocking Ron off his chair. "I give up! I'm leaving!"

And with that Hermione stormed out of the room. The class stared at her in amazement. Hermione had given up on a class. Ron felt a bit of concern as she left. _I hope she doesn't do anything rash_._ I hope she doesn't hurt her self._ He thought. After several minutes the class finally settled down.

"Remember?" said Lavender "Professor you said 'Around Easter one of our number will leave us forever!' You said it ages ago"

Ron gulped hoping the only leaving Hermione was doing was quitting divination.

"Some day Hermione's having, eh?" Ron told Harry

"Yeah….."Harry replied, not knowing the full extent of what Hermione has been through.

A/N" Remember to review guys. It's much appreciated. Any constructive criticism? I know the gamer and spelling suck please just bear with me, I'm typing this in my first block class in a hurry. Thanks for reading!


	7. It's hard at the end of each day

A/N: Sorry this took a while to get up. I've had to do actual work in journalism so this took a while to get up. Thanks to every one who reviewed! And again I apologize for my horrid spelling and grammar. By the way the next chapter will mainly be about final exams and I might include the whole climax thingy with Lupin and serious, but I'm not sure.

Anonyme- thanks for my first review and I shall continue my story. This will continue till the world cup and then I might do a sequel.

Briee- I'm glad you are enjoying my story and I can provide you with the kind of thing you've been wanting to read.

Ilovesexydark- I don't mean to be rude but it shouldn't be surprising (Hermione leaving class) it's right out of the book and in the movie. I'll try to get the next chapter up soon.

Hermione looked down from the astronomy tower. It was a long way down. The sky was black, speckled with little lights. The moon was near full, but not completely. It would be full with in the next few nights. _Glad Professor Lupin will be getting a break to rest, with out any suspicion during Easter holidays. _ Hermione thought, knowing that he was a werewolf.

Looking to the floor she sat down and leaned against the cool stone barrier. Her head turned back to the stars. She knew she should be working on her Easter Home work, she had stacks of things to do, but there was all break to do it and she needed to relax after the day she had.

Ron had run to her out of breath practically at the end of his class. Hermione had been reading about the cheering charm in the common room when he found her. He had expected the worse of course. Hermione now was convinced that Ron truly cared and wanted to help her.

When he ran in it had caught her by surprise.

"Ron? Why are you out of breath?" she had asked him.

"I—was—worried, I—I—thought." He said in-between deep breaths as he sat next to her on the couch.

Hermione smiled at him "Ron, don't worry. I didn't do anything to myself" Her eyes strait in to his, clearly telling him the truth.

"You didn't? It's just earlier in class…..you seamed really upset."

"Err…well…I thought about it after I left" she said sadly "But you just found out and… I-I didn't want to tell you again. I didn't want to disappoint you"

"Hermione I could never be disappointed in you, even if you did cut your self again…." He told her then added "But I don't want you to do it"

"Thanks Ron, but I just think oh, I don't know"

"What is it?"

"I just don't know. I can't explain it"

"Do you want to talk?"

Hermione nodded her head.

"Whats up Hermione?

"I'm just struggling to keep up in class. I can do it, but theirs just so much to do."

"After today you have one less to worry about"

"Yeah and….."

"And what?"

"I don't want to tell you, and theirs one thing I can't"

"Why don't you want to tell me?"

"I don't want to hurt you"

"Hermione?"

"Ron, I can't"

"Please, you can't hold everything in forever, it will only make things worse."

"Fine, it's you and Harry."

"What about us?"

"Scabbers, the firebolt. You guys abandoned me"

"Hermione, I don't know what to say. I'm sorry…..I err I"

"It's ok Ron"

"No it's not Hermione. Harry and I were stupid, but I was mainly me. We never meant to hurt you."

"I know"

"Do you want me to tell Harry about…?"

"No, he has enough on his plate"

"What about McGonagall or your parents"

"No, it's bad enough that you know. No one was suppose to find out"

"Hermione you need help. And the more people who can help you the faster you'll get better"

"You say it like I have some kind of illness. They'll just lock me up in the phyc-ward at St. Mungos.

"I didn't mean it like that; _damn_ I always say the wrong things to you. I'm sure I've caused you too much grief as it is. Sorry but I don't know how much I'll be able to help. I'm scared for you. I don't want to say anything to make you cut. Some one else might be able to help you better."

"Ron please don't tell anyone Ron, and you're doing fine"

"Thanks and I guess so but you have to try to stop."

"Alright Ron"

Hermione thought of her agreement from earlier that day, still sitting on the tower. She had promised to stop cutting. She prayed for the strength. _As log as I have Ron I'll be ok._ She told herself_. Ron will help me. _

The night passed and turned to dawn. The third years were over loaded with home work. Hermione had more than anyone else. She was as usual the last person to leave the common room every night, and the first one in the library every morning. The circles under her eyes were heaver and more noticeable than ever. She was constantly on the brink of tears.

Ron had noticed. He took full control of Buckbeack's case. With homework and the case he didn't have much time to talk to Hermione. But she didn't have much time to talk either. Ron had been nicer to her though, He didn't even bother her cat.

Easter break ended. April was now half way finished and the quidditch finals were tomorrow. Hermione had even taken a break from her studies saying that she couldn't concentrate with all the commotion in the room. She sat with Harry and Ron tucked in the corner. Harry was very worried about the match. He looked like Hermione after a night of studying before exams.

"You're going to be fine", Hermione told him even though she too looked terrified.

"You've got a _firebolt_" said Ron as he glanced at Hermione. He had not talked to her about her problem for a while. He wondered how she was doing.

"Yeah….." Harry shrugged agreeing with Ron.

After a while a loud voice was heard through out the room. "Team bed" shouted Wood. Hermione stayed down stairs as she watched Harry fallowed by Ron go up to the boy's dormitory. Fred and George could be heard arguing with Oliver about going up. As Hermione watched Ron disappear up the stairs she wondered, _has he forgotten about me? Doesn't he remember? I bet he doesn't even know that I've relapsed, that I'm cutting again. I wish he would come to me. _Yes, Hermione had cut again. She had healed her old cuts, with much persuasion from Ron. She was now free to where short sleeved shirts. She had changed her place though. She now cut her upper arm, shoulder area. She didn't need to worry about hiding them as much because she didn't own any sleeveless shirts (at least any at Hogwarts, the few she had were at home with all her other summer clothes).

Later that night……

Ron lay half awake in bed, excited for the match tomorrow. He looked over to the next bed over. Harry tossed in bed every now and then. He was worried about the match. Ron frowned at him, his friend (or friends he should say) had to deal with so much. Ron wondered if Harry would be ok. _Will Harry fall into the same habit as Hermione? No,_ though Ron_. Harry's strong. Well I thought Hermione was strong, no Harry and Hermione will both be ok. _He wondered how Hermione was doing. _She still seamed a bit stresses, but that's expected. Final exams are approaching_. _And_ he thought _she's been wearing short sleeves. After the tests Hermione will be ok. _

Harry got out of bed and walked to the window to get a drink from the jug that was placed under the window. Ron was almost asleep.

"Ron! Ron Wake up!" Harry hissed.

"Huh?" muttered a sleepy Ron

"I need you to tell me if you can see something"

"S'all dark, Harry. What are you on about?"

"Down here—." Harry said looking down, waiting for Ron. He heard a long snore telling him Ron had gone back to sleep. Harry went to bed so he could rest for the game tomorrow.

The night passed quickly and morning came. The match began, Harry in the air and Hermione and Ron sitting together in the stands. A battle for the snitch began. Harry and Malfoy. Malfoy in the lead. Hermione and Ron watched in awe as urged his broom to Malfoy's. They were now neck and neck. Both of their arms reached out. Harry knocked Draco's arm out of the way and……his fingers were tightly grasped the around the golden snitch.

An explosion of cheering erupted from the stands. Even Hermione was cheering, finally feeling a bit of happiness. Red and Gold quickly consumed the stadium's center. The team was lifted on the crowds' shoulders. Hermione and Ron fought their way towards Harry. All they could do was beam up at him in amazement.

The victory of the quidditch cup didn't last long for all. Exams were right around the corner and Hermione was again overloaded with things to do. Her happiness had only lingered for a day or so. It is needless to say she still clung to her habit.

A/N: Please review! Thanks! Bye for now.


	8. Empty and weightless

Exams were nearly upon the students of Hogwarts. No one was more anxious than Hermione. It was obvious to Ron and Harry that the amount of work was slowly crushing their dear friend. For the most part the boys had given up asking her how she was managing all of her classes. Hermione sat down flipping through her potions book. A sheet of parchment lay down on the table. It was an exam schedule she had drawn up for herself.

Under Monday it read….

9 o'clock, Arithmancy

9 o'clock, Transfiguration

Lunch

1 o'clock, charms

1 o'clock, Ancient Runes

"Hermione?" Ron asked cautiously, Hermione was liable to explode when interrupted theses days. Ron had tried to talk to her on several occasions to see if she was alright but he was yell at most of the time. "Err-are you sure you've copied down these times right?"

"What?" snapped the bushy haired brunette "Yes, of course I have."

"Is there any point asking you how you're going to sit for two exams at once?" asked Harry.

"No" she said shortly "Have any of you seen my copy of Numerology and Gramatica?"

"Oh, yeah, I borrowed it for a bit of bed time reading" said Ron sarcastically in a quite tone. He was truly sick of Hermione's bad mood and was frustrated that he tried to help and she just kept shooting him down. _Well, if she needed help she would say something right? She is a bright girl after all. After exams everything will be back to normal._ Ron told him self.

A noise came from the window and a white owl flew in from Hogwarts grounds. Harry walked over to Hedwig and took the letter out of her beak. The note was from Hagrid. Buckbeak's appeal was set for the June sixth, the same day they finish exams. Harry read the note to his friends.

"They're bringing and executioner the appeal! But that sounds like they've already decided!" said Hermione

"Yeah it does" Harry said slowly.

"They can't. I've spent _ages_ reading up on stuff for him: they can't just ignore it all" spoke Ron.

The day of exams finally came. Hermione was a nervous reek. Hermione was had stayed up late studding and had planned to wake up early to do the same but when Hermione awoke refreshed with the sun shining brightly she knew her time for studding would be limited. Hermione thought about using the time turner, to give her more time but decided against it. The girls around her began to get out of bed as Hermione finished dressing.

"Hermione, you're normally up ages before this time of day"

"Um yeah, I kind of slept in" she told Parvati and grabbed her bag and left the room"

Hermione walked down the girl's staircase. She felt a bit badly for not talking to her fellow Gryffindor girls, she couldn't remember the last time she had a conversation with them, or Ron and Harry for that matter. She plopped down on to the sofa and began to go over her notes that she brought down to study….

With in the next few days a number of unpredictable (unless you are professor Trelawney that is) events occurred. Of course they had their exams, which Hermione did very well, until the end of the DADA exam, where she encountered a particularly scary boggart. With the help of the timeturner Hermione and her friends were able to free Buckbeack, found out Sirius was innocent and Peter Pettigrew was still alive and is currently in Lord Voldemort service, and since word was out about Lupin being a werewolf was out he unfortunately resigned. It was a very eventful few days.

The end of the school year came to a close and Hermione hardly felt any better. She, yes, was still cutting. Her parents had no clue she was the slightest bit upset since she had gotten so good at lying. Now away from the school and friends she loved she felt a bit empty even though she was happy to see her mum and dad. Her summer mainly consisted of reading, homework, and going on long walks. One thought stuck with her was the arrival of a letter from Ron about the world cup and spending time at the Burrow. She thought about Ron a lot she soon found out. One afternoon after going on a walk she sat at her desk and began to write a letter.

Dear Ron,

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

A/N: sorry I haven't updated foe a while, I've been a bit busy with school and work. I got a bit lazy with this chapter. The next one should be better. It will have Hermione going to the burrow and Ron helping her and stuff. I'll try to have it soon but I can't make any promises. Please Review, flame if u want.


	9. A second chance

A/N: Sorry the last chapter was so…sloppy and lacking information, I got lazy and didn't feel like typing the climax of the third book. This one will be better (hopefully).

_Dear Ron, _

Hermione wrote, wondering what to say next. In lack of knowing what to write she turned around, facing her bulletin board with her calendar posted to it. It read August second. _Of course_, she thought. Harry's birthday was only three days ago. She scribed the date onto the letter parallel to Ron's name.

_Alright then._ She thought, making a hmm-like sigh she continued to write.

_How has you summer been? Mine for the most part had been fairly mediocre, despite the fact that I have received some more books from my parents. But with out you and Harry interrupting me every now and then I find myself bored out of my mind. _

_During the last term you said something about the quiddtich world cup and that your dad might be able to get tickets. I know nothing about it, where it is, when it is, and all that so I would appreciate an update on plans because I told my mum and dad about the cup and they need more information it they are going to let me go. They also said they would pay my in to see the match. _

_Things are decent otherwise. I hope to hear from you soon. _

_Love Hermione_

"There", Hermione said as she finished the last -e- on her name. Making a hmm noise she wondered how she would get the letter to Ron. Normally when she sent a letter to some one she used Hedwig or Pigwidgon, either that or she used an owl in Hogwarts or Diagon alley. I wonder if I'll be able to get to London to send this letter to Ron, Hermione thought. She folded the letter into thirds and stuck it inside a muggle envelope.

Hermione desperately wanted to talk to Ron. She couldn't go to Harry, he was happy because of being in contact with Sirius. And as it was he was at the Dursleys and bad news was something he heard too often.

Hermione thought of her parents. She was their only child. Hermione had always been top of her class, praised by adults; she was a nice, well rounded young lady. Hermione did not want to disappoint them, or make them worry about her. She had purposely not told them about the events that often threatened the students of Hogwarts School.

Who else could I confide in, she thought. As much as she liked the girls in her year she didn't feel comfortable telling them something like this. She stood up and walked over to her bed and lied down. _Well, I could tell McGonagall, but any teacher would tell my parents. But I would get help. Do I want help? Do I need it? I'm pretty alright except for that I'm cutting my self and depressed. I not too bad, am I?_

_Don't fool your self Hermione said the voice of reason that had been tucked away for so long. You need to talk to someone. Ron will help. _Hermione thought. She rolled over on to her stomach and pulled her pillow to her chest and held it. Her thoughts of her bad habit, friends, family, and school bounced from one thing to the next and she slowly fell asleep.

"_Hermione_, Hermione!"

The sleeping girl awoke suddenly as she heard a voice from down stairs.

"Hermione. Dinners ready."

Hermione slowly pulled herself up and stretched her arms over her head.

"Coming mum!" She shouted back down. Standing up Hermione growled to herself, upset that she was a woken from a good dream. She had been at Hogwarts, it was winter and she had been watching her friends have a snow ball fight. Suddenly Ron had thrown a snowball in her face, She had gotten angry and became apart of the fun.

Hermione went to her desk before heading down stairs. She placed her letter to Ron inside the desk's drawer, and then drew out her knife (She had bought a new one for potions the last time she was in Diagon alley, since Ron still had her old one). Hermione pulled her t-shirt's collar so that her damaged shoulder was exposed. Hermione made a small slice, the slowly let a small amount of blood escape. She sighed in relief, enjoying a moment of bliss.

With the hand of her opposite arm Hermione grabbed a tissue from the box in front of her. She folded it into a small square and placed it on the cut. Hermione pulled her bra strap on to the make shift bandage to hold it in place. She also returned her tee-shirt to the proper way to wear it and left her room.

She walked out into the hall and held the banister as she walked down the stairs. Hermione turned the corner into the dining room and from their walked into the Kitchen.

"Hey mum!" said Hermione in the cheeriest voice she could muster (which was pretty cheery because she had become so good at pretending).

"Hello Hermione, would you take the green beans out of the microwave?"

"Yep", she said, doing what she was told to do.

"What took you so long coming down the stairs?"

Hermione paused for a second, "Oh I was reading The Scarlet Letter. I wanted to finish the chapter I was on. I just got to the part where Hester and Pearl run into Dimmesdale in the woods."

"That's nice, do you like the book?"

"Yep", said Hermione. She had read The Scarlet Letter last summer but she read so much that her parents could hardly keep up with what she was reading. Hermione normally read nonfiction, but she occasionally pick up a novel from her mothers book shelf when she was at home for the summer. Hermione also found it a bit scary, her ability to lie to her parents with ease.

Their was silence between mother and daughter for a few seconds.

"Where's dad?"

"He'll be here soon; he just went back to the office for a bit. He forgot to grab some papers on his way out."

Hermione looked at the kitchen table. Three places were made up. She turned her hear to the oven for curiosity had over her about what her mum had made for dinner. There were two pots sitting on the oven. One filled with a red tomato sauce, the other was filled with noodles. Spaghetti.

Hermione sat down at the table and just as she did her heard the front door open and someone walk in.

"Your father must be home"

Hermione then heard his footsteps as he came closer. Mr. Granger then appeared at the entrance to the kitchen. He greeted his family not long after he and his wife joined their daughter and began to eat. Hermione took a bite of meatball and set her fork back down.

"Umm, could we go to London sometime this week? I have a letter to a friend I want to put in the post." Hermione asked politely.

"Didn't we just take you their a few days ago to send a letter?" said her father

"Yes, but that one was for Harry, for his birthday. This one is for Ron."

"Oh well, we'll see. We can't just keep taking you around the country to send post out." said her mum. "Why didn't you just send it when we were their last week?"

"I err didn't know I was going to send him one at the time" Hermione lied. She really had been hoping to get one from him, and she was a bit scared to write to him. She didn't want him to know she was upset, or at least find out through the mail.

"Well I suppose you could get Samantha to take you. She is usually in London once a week for her job", said Mrs. Granger. Samantha was a mate of Hermione's mum.

"Sounds good to me", said Hermione, wondering if Samantha would let her of on her own because as a muggle Samantha could not know about the wizarding world or Diagon ally.

"Alright, I'll call her after dinner to see if she is making a trip out their any time soon"

"Thanks mum"

Hermione lay on her bed. An open book was she had set next to her had been almost untouched since she set it down. Hermione was on top of a red fleece blanket. She didn't want to the white bed spread to be stained, leaving awkward, unanswerable questions. Also the shirt she now wore was a pajama shirt with very thin straps. Her potions knife was in her hand, she dragged it against her left shoulder. Blood ran down her arm.

"Ahhhh…." Hermione sighed in relief. She dabbed up some of the blood with her red blanket and made another long mark.

Tap tap tap….

Someone was knocking on her door

She through the blanket over her shoulders and arms, her knife hidden in the blankets. Hermione plopped her self down on her stomach and started to pretend to read just as her mother walked in.

"Hermione", said her mother "I just got off the phone with Samantha. She agreed to take you to London with you tomorrow. She'll be here to pick you up at 8"

"Ok, thanks mum" Hermione said a bit too fast, panic still rushing through her veins.

"Alright then, good night Hermione"

"Night mum" replied Hermione as her mother walked out and closed the door.

"Don't stay up too late" Hermione heard her mum say through the door before hearing her walk down the hall.

Hermione was up till eleven or later, cutting her self before finally crawling in her covers. She was exhausted form staying up late and loss of blood.

The next day Hermione headed out to London with her mum's friend. Samantha was an insurance adjuster and had some business to attend to in London that day dealing with a claim about a backed up, then overflowing toilet. Their had been a lot of damages from the water that had overflowed.

Samantha had dropped Hermione off at a book store not far from the Leakey Cauldron (though Samantha didn't know that) and would be back to pick Hermione up at noon for lunch.

Hermione waited in the store till she was sure Sam was gone before she walked out and headed to the Leakey Cauldron. The small pub was pretty empty and no one noticed her go out into the ally. In Diagon alley she went strait to the post office to mail her letter to Ron. Once sending it to the Burrow she stayed in Flourish and Blott's till 1:30 so she would have enough time to get back to the muggle book store.

Later that day Ron Weasley received that letter. The owl had dropped it off to him while he and his siblings were degnomeing the garden.

"A bit late for the post isn't?" remarked Percy as George grabbed the letter from the owl that had touched down near to where he sat.

"Oi, Ron it's for you" said George.

"It is?" asked Ron

Fred took the letter from his twin and read the envelope "Has your name on it, and it's in a muggle envelope"

"Must be from Hermione" said Ron as he stood and walked over to get his letter from the twins.

"OOooohhh", the twins said at the same time.

"Ron's got a love letter hasn't he George", teased Fred.

"Knock it off and give him the letter", barked Ginny.

"Right", said Fred handing it over to his younger brother

"Thanks Gin" said Ron

"Yep" replied his little sister.

Ron opened it as he sat back down on to the grass.

_Dear Ron, _

_How has you summer been? Mine for the most part had been fairly mediocre, despite the fact that I have received some more books from my parents. But with out you and Harry interrupting me every now and then I find myself bored out of my mind. _**(Ron laughed to himself as he read it)**

_During the last term you said something about the quiddtich world cup and that your dad might be able to get tickets. I know nothing about it, where it is, when it is, and all that so I would appreciate an update on plans because I told my mum and dad about the cup and they need more information it they are going to let me go. They also said they would pay my in to see the match. _

_Things are decent otherwise. I hope to hear from you soon. _

_Love Hermione_

_Hmm, she says she's been doing fine_, he thought. "I'll be right back I just wanna reply to her"

"Wait Ron you have to help us"

"I'll just be a sec." he said, running into the house and up to his room.

"Tell Hermione hi for me", Ginny shouted right before the door began to close.

He grabbed a peace of paper and began to write. When finished he ran back down stairs, sent the letter with Errol, and went back out to help his brothers and sister.

Hermione was asleep in bed. It was about two in the morning. Hermione was a woken by a tap tap tap at her window. She laid their for a while listening to the noise, then jumped out of bed and went to the window as she realized what it was. Hermione opened the window and let The Weasley's owl in to her room. It flew inside and perched on the bed frame on at the foot of her bed. She untied the letter from around the bird's foot, and opened it.

_Hey Hermione,_ (it read)

_It you're so bored why now come here for the rest of the summer? Mum was just telling us the other day we could have friends stay here. And I don't think it's ever been boring here._

_The cup is on the 25th in Ireland. Ludo bagman is in the process of getting tickets for my dad so we can all go. I'll tell you more when my dad tells me more. I hope you're doing fine. Oh and Ginny says hi. _

_-Ron _

A true smile was visible on Hermione's face. In the morning she would ask her parents if she could go. Hermione would finally get a chance to talk to Ron.

A week later she was in front for the Burrow hugging her mum good bye. She steeped out of the car, pulled her trunk out of the back of the car, and knocked on the door, her dad waited inside of the car. A delighted looking Mrs.Weasley opened the door.

"Hermione", she exclaimed "Come in, come in. Ron is upstairs. Why don't you get him or one of the other boys to help you bring your things in?" Hermione walked inside the house for the first time. She watched Mrs.Weasley walk out to say hello to her mum. The door was left open and her trunk was outside. Hermione managed to get it into the house and looked around.

She felt a bit awkward. She stood in the foyer, not knowing where anyone was. She didn't want to feel like she was intruding. She looked back outside; her mum and Ron's mum were still talking.

_She said Ron was upstairs_. Thought Hermione. Hermione saw the stairs; they looked like they just kept going up and up. She knew she wouldn't be able to get her trunk up them alone. _Maybe I should just walk up? That's what Mrs.Weasley told me to do. Well I can't just stand here for too long. _

Just as Hermione was about to start up the stair case she heard foot steps coming down. The smallest Weasley slowly descended to meet Hermione.

"Oh hi Hermione, I didn't know you were here yet"

"Hey Ginny", said a relived Hermione "Yeah I just got here. Your mum's talking to mine out side.

Ginny peered out the door to see.

"So, what should I do with my trunk?"

"Oh your going to be staying in my room with me so…were gonna need someone to help us carry it up the stairs. I'll be right back" she said and took up the stairs again. Not long after she returned with Fred and George.

The twins said their hellos and carried her things into Ginny's Room. Hermione fallowed them and Ginny upwards. They came up on the third landing and entered the first room on the right. The twins dropped the large truck on the floor.

"There you are Hermione" said one of the twins.

"Thanks" she told them. She still felt a bit odd, being in a new place and all.

"Yep, now if you don't mind Fred and I have other things to attend to", and with that they left. Hermione heard them go back down the stairs.

"So how's your summer been so far?" asked Hermione.

"Pretty good so far, I still need to do a bit of my school work though. How's yours been? Ron said you've been bored."

"Yeah, theirs not much to do when you're the only child in a boring muggle town. Where is Ron any way?"

"He's probably in his room; you can head up if you wanna see him. His room is all the way at the top, two floors up."

"Thanks Ginny"

"Yeah, and if anyone asks where I am tell them I'm over at the Lovegood's"

"Alright" said Hermione as both girls left the room, one going up the stairs and the other going down.

Hermione two floors up and knocked on Ron's door.

"What?" came Ron's voice from inside, figuring that his mum or one of his siblings was on the other side.

"Ron, it's me" Hermione said to the closed door. The door opened and Hermione saw one out of two her best friends.

"Oh, sorry Hermione. I thought you were my mum or someone"

"It's alright Ron" she said as she stepped into his room.

"When did you get here?" he asked.

"Just a bit ago. Fred and George helped me get my things into Ginny's room"

"So, life in muggle-land too boring?"

"Kinda, I feel a bit a badly about leaving mum and dad so early though"

"Don't worry about it; I'm sure they don't mind too much"

"Yeah, I guess your right"

The two talked for a while, until Mrs. Weasley called them down for dinner. During the entire conversation Hermione thought about telling Ron about the thing she ha been doing to herself for now what seemed like ages. But she didn't. She held it in._ Later perhaps. I just got here today, their will be plenty of time to talk later. _

A/N: Sorry for not updating for a while. I wrote more than usual for compensation. Review please if you have any suggestions or anything, also what do u guys' think of the story so far?


	10. In the arms of the angel

A/N: another long chapter for you guys. Thanks to those who reviewed. Now on with the story.

Hermione lay awake in the small cot that had been placed in Ginny's room. She looked over at her friend, whose eyes were shut and was breathing deeply. Hermione felt too full. At dinner Mrs.Weasley had made so much food, and had piled heaps of it on to everyone's plates (including Hermione's, who wasn't use to eating so much). Seconds were even piled up onto her plate. Ever since Hermione had started feeling depressed she had not felt like eating. She knew Ron's mum must have noticed her thinness.

Hermione rolled over to her side, trying to fall asleep. She always had trouble sleeping in unfamiliar places since she was a little girl. Frustrated and exhausted, Hermione sat up and bed and carefully swung her legs over the bed. She was so tired and desperate for sleep she was almost at the point of tears. She stood up and quietly tip-toed over to her truck.

Hermione knelt down and pulled open the lid. After rummaging around for a while she grasped hold of her knife. She stood back up and was about to head out the door to the bathroom when she though: _What if someone sees me holding this?_

She turned around and went back to her open trunk. Hermione grabbed her pair of sock slippers that had been a hand me down from her mother. They were slightly too large. Hermione pulled them on and tucked her knife inside the sock-slipper on the side of the right foot. _Their_, she told her self.

Hermione then left the room and soon entered the bathroom on the landing above Ginny's room. Hermione closed and locked the door behind her. A small lit candle sat on the sink, its purpose serving as a night light. She walked over to the toilet and sat down on it. She pulled up the sleeve on her over-sized pajama shirt and held the blade to her skin, dragging it over and over until her shoulder had become a bloody mess. Small, barely noticeable speckles of blood lay on a part of her sleeve. Hermione grabbed a wad of toilet paper and cleaned up the blood and held the wad to her skin the stop the bleeding.

The door knob jiggled, Hermione jumped knowing that of the Weasleys needed to use the bathroom. _At lest the door is locked, _she thought. Hermione sponged up all the remaining redness that she could see. She flushed the used toilet paper down, washed her hands and before she open the door she tucked her blade into her slipper.

Her fingers pinched and turned the lock, her hands clasped 'round the door knob, and opened the door. In the dark hall way stood a half asleep Ronald Weasley.

"Oh hi Ron", Hermione told her friend as she stepped over the threshold, joining her friend in the dark hall.

"Hey 'mione", he said backing a sleepy, half yon voice. His eyes were barely open and his hair was very disheveled. He didn't notice that his friend seemed wide awake.

"See you in the morning" Hermione told him as she walked down the stairs and Ron in to the bathroom. Ron responded in a uh-huh kind of a yon.

Hermione creped back down the stairs and into Ginny's room. She was still asleep. Hermione crawled into her make-shift bed and soon fell asleep.

------------------

Two days had passed since Hermione arrived at the Burrow. Hermione sat outside reading under the shade of a large oak while the twins, Ginny, and Ron played quidditch.

Soon Ginny touched down on her broom near to where Hermione sat. Hermione looked up at her younger red haired, freckled friend. She was sweaty and out of breath, but there was a smile on her face.

"Hey Gin", Hermione said while closing her book and setting it on the ground. Ginny sat down beside her.

"Hi", she said brightly as she took in deep breaths of air.

Hermione looked back to were the boys were playing quidditch. They were now gone.

"Where did Ron, Fred, and George go?" Hermione asked.

"Inside, their going to go up their swim suits on, we're all going swimming in the lake. You _are_ coming right?"

Hermione felt uneasy. She was expected to swim but if she did….everyone see the marks on her shoulders. "Umm, I'm not sure if I brought my swimsuit of not", Hermione lied to Ginny. She knew very well that it was at the bottom of her trunk. "I'll have to check if I have it or not"

"Alright, but if you can't find it you might be able to fit into one of mine", Ginny graciously offered.

Hermione forced a smile, "Thanks Gin". And with that the two girls stood up and proceeded to the house and up to Ginny's room. Ginny immanently grabbed her suit and headed to the bathroom to change while Hermione pretended to look for her suit.

A loud thunder of footsteps came from the upper floors. Someone was most likely running down the stairs, excited for a dip in the cool lake. The sound quieted down and Hermione realized Ron was standing over her shoulder.

"Can you be any slower Hermione?" He teased

"Well, I'm having a bit of trouble finding my swimsuit"

"Just wear one of Gunny's. She won't mind"

"I could, but I don't really know if I want to swim"

"Hermione, if you can't swim we can teach you"

"I know how to swim Ronald"

"_Then what's the matter_?" said Ron, now getting frustrated because he really wanted to swim and didn't want to leave his friend behind.

Hermione paused and thought of an answer. "I-I err… feel insecure about how I look in my swim suit."

"Gah, Hermione don't be stupid. I thought you hated it when thin girls like Pavarti and Lavender insisted that they were fat, and now you're doing the exact same thing. Hermione you are not fat and never have been, in fact you look thinner than ever. And I'm pretty sure mum's noticed by the way she has been giving you all that extra food at meals."

Hermione walked over to the cot and sat down, looking at her feet. "Ron, it's not that. I don't think I'm fat or anything like that. I promise." Hermione thought it was a bit odd that she always thought she had an eating disorder. But then again, she had dropped some weight. Some of her clothes were now too large for her also.

"But you said you didn't like how you looked in a bathing suit, and honestly you do look thinner than you were at Hogwarts."

"When ever I don't eat it's because I'm not hungry, and I guess I just have a lot on my mind. I haven't felt like eating or doing much of anything for most of the summer."

"Hermione?"

"What Ron?" Hermione said looking up at him, and finally raising her head.

"You ok?" he asked as he sat down next to her.

"Hey! Are you guys coming or not? Fred and George are already down their" Ginny shouted presently as she walked into the room.

"Not Now Gin, you go on with out us" Her older brother instructed.

Ginny caught sight of Hermione; she was at the brink of tears. "Wha- Hermione what happened? Are you alright?"

"Just fine Ginny", Hermione lied to the younger girl.

"But—"

"Ginny this doesn't concern you" Ron said firmly.

"Alright", and with that Ginny left the room. The two soon to be forth years heard her go down the stairs.

"Ok uh are you alright Hermione?"

Hermione shook her head back and forth, "No, no I'm not"

"What's wrong?" Ron asked gently. He was very concerned about his dear friend. He noticed tears were streaming down her cheeks. He stood up and closed the door while grabbing a tissue and handing it to Hermione. He then sat close to her again.

Hermione didn't say anything she continued to cry, taking in hurried breaths in between sobs. Her face was bright red and slightly scrunched up. She thought of all that troubled her, about all she had let down and those she had lied to. She decided that she was not going to lie to Ron. But some how she couldn't get the words out, she hadn't had a good cry for a while.

Ron sat next to her, not knowing what to do. He felt badly that she was crying, that he inquired so much but he was worried and couldn't understand why she didn't want to swim. He wondered if he should put a hand on her back or hug her, but he didn't want to do the wrong thing and upset her even more, so he just sat their. After Hermione tears began to subside he decided to say something.

"I'm sure everything will be ok. Do you err want to talk about anything?"

Hermione looked up at him and gave him a sad smile, her cheeks shone with moisture. She nodded her head slightly.

"Are you sure?" she finally said.

"About what?"

"That everything will be alright"

"Positive", Ron said and suddenly decided to place a strong, comforting hand on her shoulder. She flinched with pain gasped, pulling away from is hand by instinct.

"Hermione?" he questioned her, concern quivering in his voice.

"Ron please keep this to your self", Hermione said quietly. She felt her heart beat harder, and felt nervous and over-heated "Please, please don't tell your mum or anyone" After she said that she pulled up the short sleeve of her tee-shirt. Ron saw what he had feared when his friend jumped at his touch.

"_Hermione_" He said with a gasp "I-I thought you stopped"

"Well with exams and everything…."

"_Hermione_, since before the exams? Why didn't you talk to me, I told you I'd help you"

"I-err didn't want to burden you. You had exams too, and you were also working on Beakey's trial."

"Why would you think that, why would you ever think that Harry or I would put other things before you or anyone else we care about?"

Hermione shrugged her shoulders, not looking Ron in the face.

"Hermione _please_ stop cutting your self"

"I've tried", she said pathetically "I just can't stop"

Ron sighed, "Hermione if you let me help you I will try to make everything alright"

"I'll try to stop"

"Alright, well I guess we should get those cleaned up", He said gesturing to her shoulder. "I'll be right back, I'm gonna go grab a something from down stairs to help heal them"

Ron left the room. Hermione sat alone. She couldn't believe he was acting so nice, she had expected him to freak out but he was staying reasonably calm.

-----------------------------------

_Oh god, oh god, oh god._ Thought Ron as he walked quickly down the stairs. _Why didn't she tell me? I told her I'd help her back at Hogwarts. How could she do this? Should I tell mum or someone? No I can't betray Hermione. I'm the only one that can help her. _ His thoughts circled round and round he almost didn't realize he was in the kitchen.

_Alright need to find…ah there it is._ He said picking up a book titled Common Magical Aliments and Afflictions. Ron thought it was best to know how to heal Hermione before he actually tried. He knew Hermione wouldn't heal them her self, she couldn't use magic out side of school anyway. He turned through the pages hurriedly.

"Ron, what are you doing?" a voice near the door spoke.

Ron whipped his head around. George.

"Wha- are you doing here?"

"Oh my dear brother have you forgotten that I live here" He said as he dried his hair. He was still wet and had on a pair of green swim trunks.

"Well no I err just thought you were swimming"

"Yeah well got hungry. Do you know if we still have any pumpkin pasties?"

Ron didn't answer; his attention was turned to the book. He started to read how to treat cuts and scraped magically.

"Ron?"

"Wha-"

"Didn't you hear me?"

"Sorry"

"I asked if we have any pumpkin pasties."

"Dunno" Ron said absently as he read.

"What's that you got there?"

"N-nothing"

George walked to his younger brother and read the title of the book. "If you are looking on how to cure that dense head you have I hate to disappoint you but it is incurable"

Ron said nothing. _That's odd _thought George _he normally gets mad when I tease him. He normally at least says knock it off or something._ George stood closer to his younger brother and saw was reading.

"Why _are_ you reading that Ron"

Ron shut the book at once. "Nothing…I err was just curious about something"

"You're horrible at lying you know; you didn't bump into anything and get hurt up there did you?

"No I-just"

"Just what?"

"Just lay off it. It's none of your business" And with that he went back upstairs. George watched him leave, feeling as though something was going on and utterly in the dark. _Oh well_, he thought_, I'll find out anyways. Secrets aren't kept long in this house_. He shrugged it off and started to rummage through the nearest cupboard to find the pumpkin pasties. _It's probably nothing anyway. _

--- -------------------------------------

Ron hurried back up the stairs and into the bathroom. He opened the cabinet under the sink, searching for the right thing. "Lets see….burse past, cough potion, burn past, hiccupping solution, sleeping potion, Ah!" Said Ron as he finally found the two potions he was looking for. He grabbed the murtlap essence, wound cleaning potion, and two clean rags. Ron took walked out of the bathroom and down into His little sister's room.

Hermione still sat where she had been when he left. She sat their leg crossed, arms crossed, looking down at her feet. He couldn't see her face with her head pointed down and her bushy brown hair.

Ron steeped into the room, Hermione turned her head as she heard him come it. Her cheeks were tear-stained again. Ron walked to her and knelt on the ground as he opened the first potion (the wound cleansing potion).

"You alright?"

Hermione sniffed and dried her tears with her arm. "Yeah. Just thinking"

Ron pored the potion on the rag and sat next to Hermione.

"Oh. Err I know I already asked this but… is their anything you want to talk about?"

"Oh I just don't know. I haven't really been happy for weeks. I'm so scared about failing and disappointing someone."

"Um could you hold up your sleeve so I can clean it?"

Hermione lifted it, and continued to talk. "And sometimes it seems like no one notice's me or I just feel really left out."

"What do you mean?" said Ron as he started to rub to rag gently over her cuts

Hermione squinted because of the burn from the potion.

"Oh sorry I forgot to warn you, this stuff kinda burns"

"This is worse then the muggle products"

"Well it should work better too. If anything is infected this will get rid of it"

Hermione nodded.

"You were saying"

"Yeah well sometimes when you and Harry go on and on about qudditch or my parents. There so busy with work and stuff. They sometimes have to stop what their doing to help a patient with a bad tooth ache or something. They didn't even notice that I talked and smiled less this summer. At school I guess it's a little different though. I know some people like you, Harry, Lavender, and Parvati noticed I was depressed. But others didn't. Ginny is my best female friend and she didn't. Neither did the teachers, not even a day or two when I cried in class. Not even McGonagall."

"I'm sure she noticed. I know Ginny did, she was really worried. Don't worry I didn't tell her anything."

"Thanks"

"No problem. And some people probably did notice. McGonagall is after all our head of house. She might have even owled you mum and dad. They maybe just weren't sure how to help you if you even needed help. They could have just though it was cause of all you classes"

"Then why didn't they say anything to me"

"Why do you think?"

Hermione would have shrugged her shoulders but Ron had moved on to her other one and was again experiencing a strong burning sensation.

"It is because everyone knows your school work is extremely important to you, and you had more than possible anyone else in the school, if not defiantly the year. With all that work, maybe some people didn't want to bother you and you would be better after the end of the year exams"

"But you and Harry…"

"Don't you even try to say Harry or I didn't try to talk to you. I was the one who went looking for you that day in Myrtles bathroom. It also didn't seem…..well at times it was best to leave you alone", said Ron as he removed the rag from Hermione's skin.

A puzzling look appeared on Hermione's face, her shoulder still felt an uncomfortable burn.

"You would always yell at anyone who disturbed you from your work. Harry and I both tried"

"He doesn't know, does he?"

"No Hermione, I like to keep my word but I had known you didn't stop after that day then…I don't know, I probably would have told him. I told him that I got a chance to talk to you though. I said school was just hard for you this year. I guess at the end of the year that time turned had to do with a lot of your stress."

By this time Ron had already poured the murtlap essence on the rag and placed it on Hermione's shoulder. The burning went away and was replaced with a nice cool sensation. After both of her shoulders were soothed much of the redness was gone but the more recent cuts and the all scars remained. She still also has all the scars on her arms from the school year. They were hidden under a protective layer of make up.

--- ----------------------------------------------

"Where do you think George is with those pumpkin pasties?" George shed his little sister.

"Dunno" said Ginny as she danged her feet into the lake water. George was out farther in the water.

"Didn't Ron and Hermione say they were coming?"

"They said to go on with out us?"

"But do you think they are coming?"

Ginny shrugged her shoulders "I don't know. They were just talking"

"b'out what"

"Why are you so curious? I don't know I just know Hermione seemed upset"

"Well if they come then we might not have enough pumpkin pasties if they come when George gets back"

Ginny sighed in a frustrated manner. She thought of Hermione, she still didn't seem the same. She had thought everything would be back after her exams. Her mind continued to wonder as she saw George walking towards the lake with a bag of potato crisps in hand.


	11. Crisps, pasties, corn

A/N: I just want to thank those who have reviewed/add my story to their favorites or alert list. A little of the last chapter is repeated as a refresher. I know this chapter title is odd but this is kinda a filler chapter,it's justto forshadow some stuff that will happen later.

"Where do you think George is with those pumpkin pasties?" George shed his little sister.

"Dunno" said Ginny as she danged her feet into the lake water. George was out farther in the water.

"Didn't Ron and Hermione say they were coming?"

"They said to go on with out us?"

"But do you think they are coming?"

Ginny shrugged her shoulders "I don't know. They were just talking"

"B'out what"

"Why are you so curious? I don't know I just know Hermione seemed upset"

"Well if they come then we might not have enough pumpkin pasties if they come when George gets back"

Ginny sighed in a frustrated manner. She thought of Hermione, she still didn't seem the same. She had thought everything would be back after her exams. Her mind continued to wonder as she saw George walking towards the lake with a bag of potato crisps in hand.

"Hey where are the sweets?" one twin asked the other.

"All out, I got some crisps though"

"At least it's something"

"Yeah well next time you can go get the snacks"

"Fine, hey where's the other two?"

"Ron and Hermione?"

"Yeah weren't they coming?"

"Dunno. But I saw Ron in the kitchen earlier. He was reading mum's first aid book"

"Ron? Reading? Are you sure it wasn't Hermione. I swear that girl has to read everything in sight"

"She just likes to learn, is that a problem?" spoke Ginny

"No, but buy the tone in your voice it sounds like you have one" said Fred

"I haven't any problems. I just don't like people talking about my friends in a negative way"

"I didn't say anything bad, just that she can't keep her bushy little head out of books" George told his little sister.

"Well, I guess I'm just worried about her"

"Why? She's a smart girl, which is not news to anyone. She can take care of herself"

"Didn't you two notice how different she seemed at school? And she looked like she was going to cry before I left"

George spoke up "I guess your right, like when she punched Malfoy. I would have never guessed little miss know it all would do that. Wish I could have seen it."

"You got a point Gin, do you think Ron reading that healing book has anything to do with it?" said Fred.

"Dunno" said Ginny quietly. She stood up and grabbed her belongings"

"Where you going?"

"Back to the house. I wanna talk to Hermione."

"Alright, see yah Gin"

Ginny said good bye to her brothers and left for the house. The one peace she was wearing was still slightly damp and her hair stuck together in wet little clumps from the lake water. She had her towel wrapped around her waist and the clothes she had worn to the lake under her arm, along with a pair of trainers. Her bare feet were tickled by the grass. Ginny came to the house she wasn't exactly sure what she was going to say to Hermione.

"Ginny Dear!" came the voice of her mother from the garden. So the youngest Weasley walked over to the garden where she and her brothers had degnomed about a week ago.

"Yes Mum" Ginny said brightly, trying to hide the concern for her friend. Ginny stood near her mother, who was bent over the plot of ordinary and magical plants. Mrs.Weasley stood up and brushed the dirt off her hands and apron.

"I'm almost finished here. Your father and brother will be home from the ministry soon. I need to get out of these dirty clothes so I can start dinner. Would you mind setting the table for me?"

"Nope, I'll go do it right away"

"Thank you Ginny, and if can would you shed some ears for corn for me. You can get your brother and Hermione to help you. I think their upstairs.

"Alright mum" said Ginny and walked in side of the kitchen.

Ginny put her things down on the counter and took off her towel. Her suit was nearly dry so she put on the shorts she was wearing earlier along with her socks and shoes. Ginny dropped her towel and her tee-shirt over by the stairs. She thought of Hermione again, but she had to set the table. Ginny began to set the table for eight. She placed a glass, a plate and silver wear at each chair. Not being able to remember what side to place the forks of she accidentally switched where they were exposit to go.

Ginny then, ran up the stairs to her bed room, were she had seen Ron and Hermione last. She opened the door and to her surprise it was empty of bodies besides her own. She sighed and sat on her bed for a moment. She looked to the cot that was separated by her bedside table. Two rags from the bathroom lay on it; she could also see where Hermione and her brother had been sitting. She didn't think noting much of it.

Standing up, she waked to the door and out into the hallway. After talking a few steeps she turned back to her room to close the door. As her eyes began to say good bye to the lavender wall and open window she noticed two potion bottles on the floor.

_Hmm….what's this doing here,_ thought Ginny. She walked back into her room and picked up the bottles._ Mutlap essence, and wound cleansing potion? Why would someone need these? Hermione looked like she was about to cry earlier. Did she get hurt somehow? George said Ron was looking at mum's healing book. If she were hurt seriously then mum would know. I guess theirs nothing to worry about. But still... _

Ginny returned the potions to where they were they had been placed on the ground and left the room, making sure her door was closed on her way out. Once she was in the hallway she then made her way up to Ron's room. Ginny stopped a second to catch her breath, and then knocked on his door. She heard foot steeps approach the entrance to his room and Ron opened the door to his little sister.

"What d'you want?" He asked.

"Mums want you and Hermione to help me peel corn for dinner"

"Alright, we'll be down soon"

"Ron the faster you get down here to help, the faster we can finish. I already had to set the table"

"Come on Ron" said a voice from in side the room.

"No, Hermione were not finished, Ginny we'll be down soon"

"Ron" spoke Ginny in a soft voice so that Hermione couldn't hear it "What's going on?"

"Nuthin Gin" Ron returned in a equally soft voice.

"You're lying. Why won't you tell me?"

"It's not my secrete to tell"

"So, is their something going on? Why was Hermione crying earlier?"

"Ginny just leave and we'll be down soon"

"I'm worried about Hermione, she is my friend too"

"Everything will be alright"

"If you say so" And with that Ginny left. Ron watched her go down the stairs until her bright red hair disappeared. Ron closed the door and turned back to Hermione who was sitting on his orange bed. They had gone to Ron's room to talk after the saw Ginny coming towards the house from the window. It had been Hermione's idea to leave. She didn't want to kick Ginny out of her own room and Hermione didn't need anyone else to find out about her habit.

"So do you think you are gonna be ok for now Hermione?"

She nodded he head up and down "yeah, lets just head down to help your sister"

"Ok" and with that the left the room and began down the stairs

"What was Ginny whispering about?" Hermione asked

"Oh she just worried about you, cause you looked upset earlier"

"What did you tell her?"

"Just that it wasn't any of her business and I didn't have the right to tell her"

"Thanks for not telling her about…"

"No problem" said Ron and they both went down the stairs together and soon entered the kitchen. Ron and Hermione had expected to find Ginny in the kitchen, but she must have already headed out side to start. Mrs. Weasley always preferred it to be done outside so corn husks and angle hair did not end up on her floor.

The two teens walked outside and saw Ginny sitting under the tree that Hermione had been reading under earlier. Ginny dropped an ear of corn into a cauldron and started on a new one. Hermione and Ron joined her and helped her shed the husk off the corn. No one said too much of anything. Hermione and Ron felt badly for not telling Ginny and Ginny was obviously mad at the pair. She, being the youngest of the Weasley clan was most often not told something because of being too young or innocent. She expected this kind of thing form Ron, but not Hermione. Hermione was usually the one to clue her in as to what was going on. But this time it was about Hermione and she had not said a word about it.

They finished up and brought the cauldron into the kitchen. Mrs. Weasley was in their preparing the rest of dinner. Fred and George came in not long after the other kids. They and Mrs.Weasley were the only ones talking. Apparently the twins were planning to start a joke shop and Molly had found out about it when cleaning their room earlier that day and found fliers and some of the things that they made and were planning to sell at Hogwarts.

"You can not sell those things at school"

"But mum, how else are we gonna to make money?"

"Go to school and get a job at the ministry like you father and brother"

"What if neither of us want to work at the ministry?"

"Then you can do something else"

"Like start a joke shop?"

"No, and don't tell me you are planning to do this after school"

"Actually mum"

"Yeah and what ever happened to 'be what ever you want to be'"

"You will get a respectable job and that's that"

"What if we don't want a respectable job?"

"You two just wait until your father gets home"

Molly Weasleys last word seemed to be the end of the conversation for the moment. It would be continued after dinner as everyone begun to push their chairs in. During the arguing Ron, Ginny, and Hermione played a game of exploding snap. They had invited Percy to play but he said he had ministry work to do. Ginny seemed to still be a bit sour but had put on a smile.

_Maybe,_ she thought. _She just doesn't want to say what ever it is where everyone can easily hear her. I'll ask her later, maybe before we go to sleep._

A/N: Please review and, I would really like a critique of my story, or any suggestions to improve it so if anyone could do that I would appreciate it a lot.


	12. Weasley worries

A/N: Alright guys, sorry I didn't update sooner what with finals and three projects to finish I didn't get much time to work on fan fiction. This story is kind of winding down just to let you know.

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"Hermione?" asked Ginny who sat on her bed closing a spell book that she had been looking over for summer home work. Hermione sat on her camp bed, brushing her curly hair (which did rid the tangles but made her hair much bushier than normal).

"Hmm?" Hermione said as she looked at hew younger friend.

"I don't err mean to butt in or anything but you looked pretty upset earlier and I was wondering if you were ok."

Hermione put down her brush and looked at Ginny more closely. She saw a bit of worry in the girls face, which Ginny was doing her best to hide but it wasn't working. She hated that people were always worrying about her now more than ever. It wasn't that she didn't like it or anything like that. She would perhaps be more upset it she thought that no one cared. She just didn't want to be a burden. She didn't want people to loose sleep over her, to wonder what was wrong because it was obvious that their was something wrong.

"If you don't want to tell me Hermione its fine. But I'm here if you need me"

Hermione forced a smile "Ginny I'm quite alright"

"If you say so" Ginny said crawled into her covers. She blew out the small candle in the bedside table and the room was engulfed in darkness. Hermione knew Ginny wasn't a dull girl, in fact it was just the opposite. Hermione knew if she didn't get her act together soon then her best female friend would know of her habit and she would have another Weasley watching her actions more closely then usual, looking for anything most people would call unusual.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

--The POV of Ronald--

Is Hermione better?

She seems alright.

It's been a few days since we talked last and about a week since I found out that she had been cutting again, but I don't know… should I go talk to her? What if she gets mad? What if she thinks I'm accusing her of cutting again? I wouldn't do that unless I noticed blood on her clothes or something well maybe not but I would then at least check to see if she was ok…

Ron sat up in a tree over looking the Barrow. No one knew he was up their. Down below he could see His little sister and Hermione near the house. Ginny was trying to teach Hermione how to knit. To be honest Hermione wasn't doing too well with the yarn. Ron watched the two girls, Hermione in particular. As he looked down his thought continued to drift.

Hermione seems to be enjoying her self. She's smiling a lot. I guess I forgot what is was like to see her toothy grin. She's a lot prettier when she smiles. She's not ugly when she frowns she just looks a bit plain I guess. But man is she pretty when she smiles. What?--what? Am I falling for my best friend? No, it can't be. I mean she's…she's Hermione. She is like a sister. Well maybe not but, well -gah- now I'm confused. And I still don't know if I should talk to her. I hope she's ok.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

"Arthur have you found out about the cup yet, I'm sure Harry's family would like some notice before was invite him."

The Weasleys and Hermione sat around the breakfast table. Molly was at the stove pointing her wand at the sausage in the frying pan, making turn over so that it was fully cooked. Ron and the twins ears perked up at the sound of the quid ditch world cup. Hermione sat in between Ron and Ginny. She looked over to Ginny who seemed to look excited also.

"Yeah Dad did Bagman get the tickets yet?" asked one of the twins.

"Well the cup is on the 25thand its funny you should mention it. Just yesterday he said we should be getting them some time this week "

"I'm going to have to send an owl to Harry's family letting them know our plans"

"Um-Mrs. Weasley you might not want to send it by owl. Their muggles you know and they might not be exactly use to our kind of post" said Hermione

"Oh good thinking dear, I wouldn't want to upset them."

So Hermione went on to tell Mrs. Weasley the proper way to address the envelope and things like that. "After it's sealed you need to take it in to town and drop it off at the post office or in a mail box. Oh and it will need stamp, but I'm not quite sure how many. You can by stamps at the post office or in grocery store or someplace like that. They will tell you how many you need if you go the post office."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

A/N: Sorry I haven't updated for a while. Sorry this chapter is so short. I guess I kinda have writers block and am not quite sue how to end the story how I want while keeping close to cannon and the beginning of the forth book. I sorta wanna do my story justice and not end it just to end it. I will eventually end just up a story alert if u wanna know what happens later. I would also like to thank all my loyal reviewers. And if anyone could give me any ideas I would appreciate it greatly.


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